Your Inner Friend
Last week I spoke about how I bit off more than I could chew and tried to perfect running before I could walk. The result of that? Feeling deflated and beaten. Having started my journey raring to go, positive and expecting the best, I had been beaten by my own eagerness. I hopped on the scales and pulled out my tape measure, eager to see the results of my first week of hard work, and boy did it hit me hard. While there had been a little change in my weight, my measurements had either stayed the same, or shock horror, gone up!
What? This is not the way it is meant to go! My logical, intellectual brain was piping up, reminding me that everything takes time, that muscle weighs more than fat, that I probably had fluid retention in my sore muscles after a big gym day. But the overriding thought? 'I failed.' Which then spiralled to 'I'm not good enough, I can't do this, why do I even bother.' While these thoughts aren't really me, while the logical, rational voice is still there, it can be very easy to be convinced by the unkind words my primitive, caveman brain was coming up with.
Old habits would have lead me to believe those words, think, 'why bother, it's not working anyway', and go and eat something. But how would that be helpful? How does that type of thinking help me achieve my goals? Short answer - it doesn't! Instead that it would have just lead me further away from them. So, what did I do about it?
I was kind. We are so often kind to others, but treat ourselves like enemies. By telling myself I was a failure I was simply self sabotaging. You often hear people telling you to talk to yourself as though you were you talking to your best friend, but how can you do that if you don't like the person inside yourself? Find the friend within, love the person inside like your best friend, and it is so much easier to be kind and helpful. Thankfully me and my inner friend go way back! It took some finding, but she and I are now the best of friends! If you're struggling to find him or her, sit down and write a list of the things firstly others, and then you, like about you. This may be tricky, but there is definitely something. Refer back to this list whenever you need reminding!
When you find yourself beating yourself up, telling yourself how rubbish you are, ignore it. The same way you would a bully. Replace that thought with a kind one.
Tell yourself how you have succeeded and what has improved, even if it was just that you held out eating that biscuit for 5 minutes longer than usual. Doesn't matter than you ate it anyway, what matters is that you were able to wait 5 minutes. Give yourself a pat on the back for the small wins. But also don't give yourself a hard time for being hard on yourself! If you have given in to the 'I'm useless' thoughts, that's OK. Break the cycle, by giving yourself a hug, and saying 'It'll be easier next time.' Above all else, listen to that voice inside telling you it is OK. Don't let it be drowned out by the unkind words. Keep those motivators in mind and be KIND!
Remember this is relevant in all things, not just weight loss. If you don't hit your PB weight lifting at the gym, or miss a day meditating, or whatever your goal may be, it is all the same. Be kind to yourself, use kind words and kind thoughts to keep yourself going strong.